Which picture did your holiday look like this year? Or your last family meal? Or even dinner with friends?

One picture shows a GENUINE set of interactions — presence, laughter, warmth, and shared attention.
The other shows what has quietly become the new normal.

The GENUINE Holiday

The “New Normal” Holiday

What is the difference in the holiday approach? The contrast is obvious.

But it’s become so acceptable that we barely notice the pain in Picture 2 anymore.

People taking the “perfect photo” to impress people online… instead of celebrating imperfect, beautiful moments with the people right in front of them.

People sinking into the entertainment in their pockets… instead of leaning into the small discomfort of starting a real conversation.

We aren’t counting the cost, but it’s costing us — deeply.

The Real Harm: We Are in a Relational Recession

Right now, we’re experiencing what I call a relational recession — a slow fade from connection, belonging, and meaningful relationships.

The symptoms show up everywhere:

Rising loneliness (linked to heart disease, anxiety, depression, and early mortality)
Shallow interactions
Friendships thinning out
Families becoming polite but disconnected
Workplaces running on transactional communication instead of trust

This isn’t just a “holiday issue.”
This is a health issue, a human issue, and a society issue.

And it doesn’t get better by accident.

What a More GENUINE Holiday Actually Looks Like

When we lean into courage — the courage to be more present, more engaged, more human — everything changes.

Here’s what being more GENUINE looked like around my holiday table this year:

GENEROSITY

People passed food before serving themselves.
They helped clean up without being asked.
They made emotional and conversational space for each other.

ENGAGEMENT

Phones were down. Eye contact was up.
People leaned in, asked questions, and actually listened.
Even the quietest voices had room to be heard.

KINDNESS (NICE)

There were shouts of laughter instead of sighs of loneliness.
Encouragement came naturally.
People stayed for hours — not counting minutes until they could leave.

UNAFAID

Real conversations happened — even some hard ones.
But they were done privately, with the intent to heal, not shame.
Vulnerability showed up, and so did connection.

INTEGRITY

People were the same person at the table as they are in real life — no performances.
Traditions that mattered were honored.
Values guided the tone of the day.

NON-JUDGMENT

Debates were about which dessert was the best… not which political party was “right.”
People assumed positive intent instead of searching for offense.

EMPATHY

Screens were used, but in GENUINE ways — gaming together, sharing photos, laughing at memories.
People noticed when someone looked off and checked in.
Everyone had room to feel how they felt.

It wasn’t perfect — but it was GENUINE, and that made all the difference.

What the “Not GENUINE” Holiday Looks Like

Phone scrolling instead of eye contact

Complaining instead of contributing
Performative kindness instead of real warmth
Avoiding hard conversations — or blowing up publicly
Criticism, sarcasm, or comparison
Overshadowing the moment with online validation hunting
Judging others instead of trying to understand them
People “checking out” emotionally while still sitting at the table

This is how relational poverty grows — slowly, invisibly, year after year.

**Here’s the Truth: You Can Fight the Relational Recession**

You can stay out of relational poverty.
You can even climb out if you’re already in it.

But it takes effort, courage, and intentionality.
It requires choosing the uncomfortable good over the easy distraction.

And I believe you can do it.
I believe we can do it.
I believe humanity still wants connection more than convenience.

Your Invitation: Spend the Last Month of the Year Being GENUINE

Try this for the rest of the year:

Be generous.
Be engaged.
Be Nice (personalize your kindness).
Be Unafraid (courageous and vulnerable).
Be whole (live with values aligned integrity).
Be non-judgmental.
Be empathetic.

Not perfectly — just intentionally.

And if you want help, I’ve included a quick GENUINE Holiday Guide you can use to stay grounded and present when the season gets chaotic.

Let’s make this the year we reverse the relational recession — one conversation, one gathering, one presence-filled moment at a time.

“What If Your Holiday Didn’t Have to Feel Like This?”